Talking about mental health

Summary

• How should I talk about mental health?
• Phrases to use and avoid
• Talking to someone you’re worried about
• Talking about your mental health

While we all have different ways of talking about our mental health, some words and phrases are more respectful and widely accepted than others. As more people talk about their mental health, the language we use about mental health is changing. This can have a positive impact on the stigma of mental ill-health.

How should I talk about mental health?

Most of us have experienced times when we’ve had trouble dealing with daily life. Many of us have been diagnosed with a mental health problem or felt that our mental health was poor. We all have our ways of describing those experiences. It’s important that we choose the words we feel comfortable with – after all, our stories are ours to own and share.

When you’re speaking to someone about their mental health, it’s important to be direct and compassionate.

You should ask people whether they want to talk about their mental health and, if so, how they would like to discuss their experiences. They are the experts in their lives.

It’s also important not to let fear about saying the wrong thing stop you from having conversations about mental health or asking someone how they are. Avoiding the subject can make people feel silenced or stigmatised, even if that’s not what you intended.

Be careful when speaking about other people’s experiences – whether it’s someone you know, in the public eye, or on the news. It’s easy to gossip, but it’s usually unhelpful and can be harmful.

Being open about mental health is good and allows conversations to develop naturally. When choosing your words, some helpful terms and some can reinforce stigma or cause upset.

Safe, open conversations will feel more considerate and respectful to most people with lived experience of mental health problems. They can also help others feel more able to talk about their own experiences.

Phrases to use and avoid

• Don’t: describe a person as a diagnosis or behaviour: ‘a manic-depressive’, ‘a schizophrenic’, ‘a psychotic’, ‘a self-harmer’
  Instead: ‘a person living with schizophrenia/bipolar disorder’, ‘someone with depression’, ‘someone experiencing psychosis’, ‘someone who self-harms’. People tend to prefer terms where they’re seen firstly as a person rather than a set of symptoms or an illness, especially when some clinical terms are stigmatised.
• Don’t: use ‘suffers from’, ‘victim of’
  Instead: ‘lives with’, ‘has’. ‘Suffers from’ or ‘victim of’ implies that someone’s life experience is negative, painful and hopeless – or that they deserve pity.
• Don’t: use ‘mentally ill’
  Instead: ‘someone with mental ill-health’ or ‘someone who experiences mental health problems’. ‘Mentally ill’ is old-fashioned and not precise – you wouldn’t usually say that a person was physically ill.
• Don’t: use ‘committed suicide’
  Instead: use ‘died by suicide’, ‘took their own life, or ‘attempted suicide’. The word ‘commit’ suggests suicide is a crime or a sin.
  Samaritans have more about this in their media guidelines.
• Don’t: use mental health terms as adjectives to describe people or behaviours – like ‘a bit OCD’, ‘crazy’, ‘practically anorexic’
  Instead: use different, more compassionate ways to describe people or the ways they’re behaving. If you’re concerned that someone is behaving unusually, ask them how they’re doing in a sensitive way. If you see people making stigmatising comments or showing bias, call them out as you would if they were making other discriminatory comments.
  
  There are words and phrases it’s preferable to use when talking about other topics, too. Our pages on LGBTIQ+ people, Black, Asian and minority ethnic communities and stigma and discrimination (which looks at disability) cover some of these.

Talking to someone you’re worried about

If a friend, relative or colleague doesn’t seem themselves, it’s good to check in and see how they are. You might have noticed they seem distracted, less able to concentrate, more angry or irritable than usual or that they’re hiding away.

• Find a space where you know you can have a conversation without being distracted. This could be over a lunch break, during a walk or at a busy café depending on where the other person feels comfortable
• Give them your full attention: turn your phone off and make sure you won’t be interrupted
• Try to make eye contact unless the other person is uncomfortable with it. Be relaxed: it helps you come across as genuine and engaged with what they’re saying
• Ask questions to clarify and show you’re listening, but remember not everyone will want to discuss things in detail
• Ask how you can help or make suggestions, rather than telling them what to do next. They might want support with making a GP appointment, help with household chores, or just for you to keep things normal and chat about what’s going on in your life. Our page on getting help has lots of useful sources of help

Talking about your mental health

Talking is good for your mental health. But starting a conversation isn’t always easy. If you’d like to talk to someone about how you’re feeling, here are some tips that can help.  

1. Choose someone you trust to talk to  

This might be a friend, family member or a colleague. Or you might be more comfortable talking to someone you don’t know, for example, through a support helpline. It can help to do a pros and cons list about talking to someone.  

2. Think about the best place to talk

It’s important to choose a place where you feel comfortable enough to open-up. You might want to choose somewhere private where you’re less likely to be disturbed. You also might want to talk while you do an activity, like walking together.  

3. Prepare yourself for their reaction

Hopefully, you will have a good experience when you open-up to someone. But there’s a chance that they may not react in the way you hope. This may be for different reasons, like they may be worried or not fully understand at first.  If that’s the case, try to give them time to process what you’ve told them. It might help to give them information to read to help them understand. And don’t forget to be kind to yourself and practice self-care. 

References

House style guide | Mind

Inclusive language: words to use and avoid when writing about disability - GOV.UK

* Last updated: 20 January 2022