Coping with loneliness during the festive season

6th Dec 2024

We all experience loneliness from time to time. But while the festive season can be a time of joy and connection – it can sometimes also have the opposite effect – making us feel lonely and disconnected. The pressure to be part of festive fun and feel and act happy can be tough when we feel excluded from it.

The back of a person wearing a winter hat and coat, facing towards a street with festive lights.

During the holidays, it can feel like everywhere we look there’s endless festive fun being had by all. We might switch on Netflix for a little escape, but we’re confronted by 10 Christmas family movies. And every advert we see shows families sat around a table wearing Christmas hats and laughing.

It can be hard when it feels like everyone is enjoying the time of year, and you’re on the outside. It might feel difficult whether we want to be involved or not – the pressure alone making us feel lonely and disconnected.

You might also feel lonely when you’re included in festivities, but feeling disconnected from your family or friends. Maybe you’re dealing with something hard in your life, and its weighing heavy on your shoulders. Or maybe the way you’re feeling makes it hard to connect.

The holidays can be difficult when you’ve lost someone you care about. It can bring up memories of past holidays you’ve spent together, making you feel their absence and miss them even more. And if you’ve lost someone around this time of year, it can bring up tough memories of your loss.

Please know, you are not alone. Many people will be going through the same experiences and find the festive season tough.

Here are some things you can try that can help:

Try to challenge your perspective

It can be tough to cope with the pressures and expectations of the holidays. But it can sometimes help to try looking at the festive season from a different perspective. This might be challenging the idea that everyone is having fun and recognising that many people will be facing their own struggles during the festive season.

Try to reflect on what you want during the season and focus on the things you can control. It can help to write this down as a list.

Explore different ways of finding connection

Connection is important for our mental health. But it does come in different forms. Connection isn’t just about being surrounded by people. We can feel it when we:

chat to a stranger on the bus
have a phone call with a friend
help out a neighbour with their bins
chat online about your favourite book.

If we’re struggling with difficult feelings, it can help to open-up to someone. This might be someone you know and trust, or it could be through a helpline.

Find help

Volunteer in your local community

Kindness and giving back to your community can make us feel good and give us an opportunity to connect with others. Volunteering in your local community can be a great way to do this, and volunteers are often in high demand – particularly during the winter season.

There are often opportunities to volunteer on holidays, which can keep you busy, give you a chance to connect with others, and boost your mood.

A photo of two people standing at a donation table, you can just see their torsos.

Plan to do things you enjoy that keep you busy

Planning things to look forward is good for your mental health, so try to get a few things in the diary. Doing things you enjoy and are good at can boost your mood and self-esteem. Try to do activities that keep you busy and your mind stimulated. What we enjoy is different for each of us, and that’s okay!

Open-up about how you’re feeling

If you’re with family or friends over the festive period, and you’re feeling lonely or disconnected, it can help to open-up about it. This can feel really hard, and you may be worried you’ll put a damper on the festivities. But our loved ones want to be there for us and want to help. And chances are, your feelings may resonate with them, too.

It can also really help to call a helpline. Talking to someone you don’t know can sometimes make it easier to talk freely and be honest about our feelings. And they can help you work out what will help you get through it.

3 women of mixed ages are sat talking cheerfully at a table.

Join an online community

There are lots of advantages to connecting with people online, if we do it safely. Have you got any particular interests or hobbies? Try searching for online communities where people connect to talk about it. You might just enjoy reading the discussions, or you may want to join in.

You can also use online communities to find people to talk to who have shared similar experiences to you. For example, if you’re struggling with a bereavement, it can help to talk to someone via a forum who’s had a similar experience.