H's story: how healthy relationships are important for my mental health

This content mentions depression and personality disorders, which some people may find triggering.

Hi! I'm H, I'm 20 years old and I'm writing this blog to talk about how mental health and healthy relationships coexist together. I am somebody who has depression, a personality disorder, and I have autism. I can sometimes find it hard to form healthy relationships with others.

I personally think, when in a relationship, these things are key:

• Good communication
• Both people are on the right page
• Honesty
• Loyalty
• Helping each other to grow and overcome individual challenges

Having a relationship where you can communicate is very important, as it helps to stimulate a person’s brain when talking to their significant other about how they feel. I and other people with depression sometimes feel lonely like I have no one to talk to, see or engage with.

Trust the process

When people feel comfortable in themselves and have confidence and self-esteem, they will be able to form healthy relationships with themselves.

When building a relationship, don't be someone who's fake, not the real you, be yourself. Being somebody else when in a relationship isn't good for you or the person that you're with. It can make your life harder and that person may not be able to trust you.

It's always best to be yourself no matter what. Even when social media contributes to ideas about people being a certain way or a certain height or weight, that shouldn’t stop you from forming a healthy bond with somebody, where you can be yourself.

I don't know much about relationships, but I have seen from others, especially my friends who have been in very negative relationships. I've also picked up on other people's mistakes and made sure I don’t make the same mistakes. Having strong friendships is really important. A friend should always have your back in situations you can't get out of and stand up for you.

Be the one that stands out!

You don't need thousands of millions of friends. What is important is those friends who are there for you all the time and you’re there for them. That is what makes a strong friendship. For me, when you feel sad, or you just want to rant and scream and that person is willing to listen, then that's a good friend and someone who accepts you for who you are!

Being yourself, that's what counts!

The qualities I bring to my friends are that I am quite funny. I've got a good sense of humour and I sometimes joke a lot, often with sarcastic humour. I have a few friends who I trust, who I know won't backbite me, or bully me for the way I look or dress. I would rather have one friend than many people who I can feel normal with and be myself around.

Someone who can listen when I feel down, and I can help them out as well. Forming and making friendships can be daunting and scary but when you get to know that person, only you get to see their true colours.

You decide!

Honestly, I think young people should learn about healthy relationships because it will be beneficial for them to understand that everything isn't what you see on social media, (e.g. like movies and dramas or even reality TV shows). Although young people need to be more aware of the decision or choice they are making towards, committing a relationship with someone. Many young people don't have the chance to hear how to manage a healthy relationship with their families and friends on how to manage a healthy relationship, so I'm excited to help you, young people out.

Relationships come in many ways such as having a bond with someone in your family or being close to a childhood friend, or it could be starting a new intimate relationship with someone. Some of you who may have had bad relationships in the past shouldn't stop you from forming new memories/ones.

You as a young person can only decide what to do next or how to change the situation you're in! This message isn't here to tell you what you cannot do or force you to do anything, but you have this story to help.

If you feel affected by the content you have read, please see our get help page for support.