Advice for parents worried about issues raised in Netflix's show Adolescence

Not all online communities are negative

It’s important to remember that online communities, like those in real life, can be incredibly supportive places. Supportive communities can offer a sense of safety and connection, reduce isolation, and give a sense of purpose. Online communities have the advantage of connecting people with shared interests or experiences who might be geographically distant, and many people find it easier to express themselves online. Not having to use your own identity or name can encourage more honest self-disclosure than conversations in-person, which can be particularly helpful for marginalised groups such as LGBTQ+ young people.

But dangerous content and cultures do flourish online

Not all online communities are healthy, as Adolescence shows to devastating effect. While digital communities lower the bar to expression, this can also lead to a culture of bullying and toxicity which young people have no respite from in an ‘always on’ culture. In particular, Adolescence highlights the toxicity of the manosphere, where misogyny flourishes. This ranges from regressive and wrong attitudes around gender all the way through to extreme misogyny on incel and related forums. Most people, thankfully, have never visited these sites; but to give you a flavour of their content, a Centre for Countering Digital Hate (CCDH) report found that the members of one incel forum post about rape once every 29 minutes.

While the very hateful sites might only be populated by a few thousand users, their influence has spread to common parts of the internet. They normalise behaviours that are damaging both to the mental health of members and those affected by their behaviour. And conversely there is a clear path where from seemingly innocent content young people start by engaging with such as fitness and gym material to more sinister content based on hatred for women, LGBTQ+ people, and people of colour. While the pathways are driven in part by algorithms, young men are also cynically manipulated by linked sites that work together.

What can parents do

As a parent of two teenagers, I know we can feel scared and helpless to advise our children how to navigate through the online world. But there are things we can do.

Firstly, know what’s out there. Whilst I definitely wouldn’t encourage anyone to search out hateful sites on the internet, CCDH has a useful glossary of terms (like incel, bluepill, chad, looksmaxxing) which can help understanding of the cultures online. And knowing about the most common platforms and understanding how your children engage with them (e.g. passively observing or actively posting) is a good place to start.

Next, talk to your kids about what they are engaging with online and how it makes them feel.  Be curious about what your children enjoy about the sites and forums they visit. Encourage them to reflect on whether the communities they are part of feel healthy, or the opposite. Mental Health America has a great resource which suggests a healthy online community should make someone feel safe, hold everyone accountable, be a space where you feel connected to others, align with your values a person, and not drain you or make you feel bad about yourself. Encourage your child to keep reviewing whether what they are engaging with online still feels right for them, because communities change over time.

Talk to your children as well about age appropriate guidelines and help them understand how they can change algorithm ‘bubbles’ if they feel they are seeing too much of a particular kind of content. Algorithms will push content they think we want to see – but it’s important for everyone to block, mute, unfollow, and report content that makes you feel uncomfortable.  We have published more general advice on our website about talking to your children about healthy internet use.

What does society need to do?

Currently, materials and training given to teachers, and the nature of online safety education as a part of Personal, Social, Health and Economic (PSHE) education, is failing our schools and our children, leading to devastating mental health impacts. Teaching about online communities and online safety more broadly should be a statutory requirement for schools. Schools must upskill both teachers and children so that relevant, meaningful and age-appropriate discussion can happen in the classroom.

In addition, we know that a ‘whole-school’ approach is the most effective way to protect and support the mental health of young people and teachers. It’s not enough to have discrete PSHE classes or pastoral care session if the rest of the school structure is blind to the pressures children are under, or if bullying and discrimination go unchallenged.  Regular tracking of pupil and teacher’s mental wellbeing  in schools would give vital information to understand trends and where action is needed.

There is a growing movement to ban mobile phones from schools. We agree that currently smart phones simply are not safe for kids. However, banning them in schools would only solve one small part of the problem. We need to give young people the skills and confidence to navigate the internet safely and to recognise harmful cultures when they see it. And we need the government to ensure the most harmful content is properly regulated and removed – something they are shying away from doing in their lacklustre implementation of the Online Safety Act.  

Adolescence is one of those great pieces of TV that engages people for its own sake but also drives a national debate about important issues. There are few issues more important than the safety and mental health of our children and young people. Let’s make sure this discussion leads to much needed action and meaningful change.