For many of us, the start of a new year means self-improvement and the promise of, ‘new year, new me’. This mindset often fuels our New Year’s resolutions. This can help us stay motivated during January, which can be a tough month following the holidays, with spring still feeling far away. But the expectations and pressure we put on ourselves aren’t always helpful.
Aiming to be our ‘best selves’ can put us under unnecessary pressure and stress. And when we struggle to live up to the impossible standards we set, it can make us feel guilty and bad about ourselves. Or we might push ourselves too hard and find that we’re burnt out before the first month is over.
Approached with care and a healthy mindset, resolutions can be helpful motivators and have a positive impact.
Should I set New Year’s resolutions?
Some people find setting resolutions helpful for their mental health, and others don’t. Before setting any goals for the new year, think about whether this is a helpful motivator – or pressure you just don’t need.
It’s okay to decide that New Year’s resolutions aren’t for you. You don’t need a list to tell you who you are, or what you’re capable of. While you’re focusing on the here and now, why not take a look at the things can that boost your mental health?
If you’d like to make some mentally healthy New Year’s resolutions – read on!
Tips for making mentally healthy new year resolutions
Make positive resolutions
Many of us make ‘negative’ resolutions – such as stopping eating sweets or spending less money. There’s nothing wrong with stopping things that aren’t good for us – this can be a healthy choice. But it’s important to be cautious about making strict resolutions with no flexibility. One mistake and we may feel like we’ve failed. And while we might try again, we may also abandon the resolution altogether.
It can help to re-frame your resolutions in a positive and flexible way. For example, “I will eat healthier”, instead of, “I will stop eating unhealthy food”.
Make your resolutions flexible
We all experience the ups and downs of everyday life. We might have a hard week, or month. We might have a busy period, become unwell, or handle any number of life’s challenges. So, when you’re making resolutions, it can help to make them flexible to respond to real life.
You could start small and revisit them each month. For example, if you want to read more, you could start with a resolution to simply start a book. Or if you feel you don’t have enough time to read, you could listen to an audio book or podcast.
You could also write them flexibly and plan for when it’ll be hard to keep them up. For example, if your resolution is to exercise more, you could say, when I’m busy or not feeling well, I’ll aim to do 10 minutes of gentle movement.
Make resolutions with self-kindness
We can often be our own worse critics. And when we don’t meet our own goals, we can be hard on ourselves – and judge ourselves a lot harder than we would others.
Try to apply the same kindness you’d give to a friend to yourself. If a friend didn’t achieve a goal they set, what would we say to them? Most likely, it would be something kind and supportive.
If you’re struggling to fulfil your resolutions, or you realise that one or two just don’t work for you – try to practice self-kindness. Remember, trying your best can look different each day. And recognising when something isn’t working for you and responding to your needs is something to be proud of.
Re-frame not meeting your goals
One of the reasons why resolutions can negatively affect our mental health is because of how we think about success and failure. When we set a rigid goal, success and failure can feel black and white. We either met our goal of saving £100 a month, or we didn’t. We either only ate healthy food, or we failed.
But this way of setting goals doesn’t account for the ups and downs of life and the different ways we learn, grow, and adapt. When we think of failure as bad and avoid it, we miss out on what we can learn by making mistakes. But if we re-frame what we see as “failure”, we can see it as an opportunity to learn – and as something that can contribute to us succeeding.
So, as you’re setting your goals, try to make space for flexibility and the possibility of ‘failing’, and learning from this journey.
Ideas for mentally healthy resolutions
Not sure where to start? Here are some suggestions for mentally healthy resolutions.
Try something new
Trying new experiences that are outside of your comfort zone can be good for your mental health. Life can feel more interesting, lively and rewarding when we are open to trying new experiences and experimenting with how we do things.
You could make an open resolution around trying new things or changing the way you do something. Or you could make more specific goals – like trying different routes to walk your dog.
Remember, the important thing is being open and giving it a go – so celebrate this!
Get closer to nature
Spending more time in nature is a great way to boost your mental health. Think about making a resolution that will get you out in nature or even bringing nature into your home.
Move for your mental health
Regular movement is important for our mental health. Even short bursts of movement can boost our mood, mental alertness and energy.
Gym memberships or fitness classes work for some, and not others. And you may already have a hobby that gets you moving.
But if not, then it can help to start by setting small, achievable goals that fit with your lifestyle.
Plan things to look forward to
Making plans for things we enjoy can increase our sense of hope, which is important for our mental health. Having things to look forward to can also help us cope with difficult situations.
Small or big, why not make a resolution to make regular plans to do things you enjoy?
Be kind
We all benefit from kindness, whether we’re giving or receiving it. It can boost our mood, strengthen our connections, and even help us cope better with stress.
Think about making a resolution around being kind. This might be to try volunteering, help out a friend or neighbour, or do random acts of kindness.
If you decide to make New Year’s resolutions, try to think about how they’ll affect your mental health throughout the year. And remember, it’s okay if you decide not to make any – or if you want to leave or change them.